Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I see through liars

Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?

I have a reading level above third grade

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How do you feel cockroach?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Has any man licked his wife's vagina while another man had sex with her?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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I don’t buy bullshit

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why don’t Jews regard Jesus as an important teacher or rabbi, if not the Messiah? Putting aside messianic claims, wouldn’t Jesus be one of the most significant Jewish teachers in human history?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’m 17 and looking for a girl. What do I do?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Satellite Pics Show How Russia Tried To Avert Ukraine Drone Strikes, But Failed - NDTV

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can count

Do women like men who have slept with many women?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

How humpback whales are playfully communicating with humans, according to scientists - ABC News

I actually pay taxes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can read

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability